A rare live appearance with Andrea Lee

Since a guru can’t spend all of her time in contemplation in her yurt, I’ve been coaxed out into the fresh air by my constituient, the young and savvy Andrea Lee.

Andrea, who is wise and a very, very, very old soul (and who happens to channel  Lucille Ball) has invited me on a teleclass we call  ‘Marketing From the Gut: Using Chanting, Indigenous Prairie Grasses, and Incantations to Get on Oprah and Beyond’.

Andrea will interview me,  Serenity Hawkfire, the "21st Century Guru" (trademark pending) in this informative half hour that will teach you how pros and other guru’s like me market themselves.

My Top Ten New Year’s Assertions

Personally, I don’t much believe in all those resolutions that get bandied about at New Years. They are meant to ‘resolve’ a problem, and how often do any of us actually stick to them and make them work?

Instead, I like New Year’s assertions. They begin with the positive premise that you didn’t do anything wrong, you have nothing to improve, and here’s simply what you’re going to do next. Better, don’t you think? Frankly, I’m just not good at wallowing in shame.

Here are my assertions for 2006:

How to Develop an ‘Elevator Speech’

Much is said these days on the Net about ‘elevator speeches’. And frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is. Don’t you simply get in an elevator and start talking to whomever will listen? Must this be an organized, written out speech you deliver?

There are those who would disagree, of course, saying that elevators are your place to make a good impression on unsuspecting listeners. But I say, relax. Go organic. Be yourself!

Why You Need a Signature Look Now!

If you want to make a big hit with the media, it helps to have a signature look. Especially if you want to do television. Mine is my hemp headband, and I?m convinced it?s one of the things that got me on Geraldo! in the mid-Eighties. In fact, back in the green room, Geraldo himself actually asked me if he could try it on!

Consider the biggies. Steven Covey. Jack Canfield. Marianne whatever-her-name-is ? not ONE of them is doing the hemp headband. No one! But I am.

The Only Entity I Channel … and Why

In my opinion, those other so-called ‘gurus’ who channel disembodied entities like Abraham Hicks and Seth are making a grave mistake. You’ll never catch me allowing some other entity to speak through me!

Why? Because I’m building a brand here!

For a while I was being visited by the ghost of Jerry Garcia – and I liked Jerry enormously. (I used to listen to ‘Sugar Magnolia’ all the time back in my psychedelic period.) But I’m not going to actually channel Jerry or anyone else for that matter. I simply don’t think that’s the best use of my personal bandwidth.

How to Find Your Promotional Soul Mate

I believe that each of us have Promotional Soul Mates with whom we’re energetically connected ? and with whom we can be karmically correct, kick-ass promoters. Here are ways to find those lucky souls.

1. Drumming. When I feel the need for a new Joint Venture partner, I don’t surf the Web - I play my drum! I simply step outside my yurt, open my eyes to the heavens, invoke a little Spiritual assistance and drum to my heart’s content. The phone always rings immediately - and sometimes it’s not even The Difficult Neighbors asking me to keep it down.

Breakthrough Networking Technique: Silent Meals!

Here’s a hot networking idea that will catapult you head and shoulders beyond the competition: Invite your favorite media or publishing pundit to a silent meal.

I love this idea because no one has to bother with all that tedious, ‘getting to know you’ small talk. No one even has to launch into pitches. Instead, simply sit and silence and eat. Not only will you improve digestion, and deepen your spiritual connection to the vegetable and animal beings who gave their lives for your meal, you’ll forge a stronger bond with your new friend.

Five Steps to Getting on National TV … the Easy Way!

1. Always be available. Your job as a budding guru is to be TV ready, 24/7. I accomplish this by designating a chosen ‘TV Station of the Week’ and then setting up my yurt just outside. (If you get moved off the sidewalk, you can always decamp to a nearby parking lot and set up once more.) They key is to be there, head shot in hand, when the top brass come by.

Prayer for the Day

I am one with Oprah

  I am one with Oprah

    I am one with Oprah ?